Precious
by yHime
Summary: While Tsuna battles with the sadness, Gokudera has to live with the guilt. 2759. Warnings inside.


A/N: This is my first serious attempt at making a 2759 with a more mellow tone; as some of my dear readers would've realised. Hopefully you would enjoy it. [:

Warning: Shounen-ai with 2759 variety. Be warned.

Disclaimer: KHR and its characters do not belong to me. If it is, 2759 would be canon. Seriously.

* * *

><p>It hurts.<p>

Trying to hide this feeling away hurts.

It hurts because all he wanted to do was to shout it out from the top of a building.

To shout that he loves him.

To shout that he was his only one.

To shout that his beautiful love was really _his._

xxx-xxx

**Precious**

_Because life would mean nothing without you. _

xxx-xxx

"Ti amo." *

Gokudera found himself falling into silence at the sudden admission made by the young man sitting across from him; a single oak desk the only thing separating them from each other. He tried to open his mouth, only to fall silent once again.

He knew what he wanted to say, but he also knew what he _should _say. His feelings and responsibilities are against each other. Both of equal importance, both unable to be ignored.

_Don't you want to admit this feeling that's been inside you for so long?_

_**Don't you know what you should be doing?**_

_You shouldn't lie to him because it'll only hurt him._

_**You should consider his future. Didn't you say that you would do anything to ensure his success?**_

His Jyudaime was of a great importance in the high profile world. He was the boss of the biggest and most powerful mafia family in the world. He was someone that everyone respected due to his unfailingly kind nature.

He was also one of the most sought after bachelor in the mafia world.

Everyone expected his boss to marry to a respectable girl and have Tsuna juniors within the few years after that. The continuation of the bloodline would be what the people of the Sawada household hoped for.

He would only stand in the way.

He was no one worthy enough to stand next to the tenth Vongola boss as his life partner. He should be thankful that he was seen as worthy for holding the title of the right-hand man.

_You know you would come to regret it if you don't tell him your true feelings._

_**So you know what you should do, don't you?**_

"I-"

His voice broke.

"Jyudaime, I-" he tried again, only to fall in silence for the third time at Tsuna's raised hand that silently asked him to stop. It seemed like his Jyudaime could read his expression as well as he feared.

"It's okay, Gokudera. I understand. My Italian was probably bad enough that it was hard for you to understand me," Tsuna said. Despite his words, the chocolate orbs that clashed with his were pained.

"It seems like my attempt at being romantic failed. Ahaha..."

The laugh was forced; the slumped shoulders were telling enough of the speaker's real feelings.

His silent rejection probably hurt his boss. He had managed to hurt the one person that he'd promised to protect with all his being. He couldn't possibly be any more of a failure, could he?

"It- It's not you, Jyudaime..." he whispered. Because despite the fact that he couldn't return those feelings, it didn't mean that it was in anyway a shortcoming of Tsuna's. If anything, it was his own unworthiness that made their relationship something that was only meant to be in storybooks.

_A fantasy._

"I know. You just don't feel the same... I don't expect you to return my feelings. I just thought- Never mind what I thought. The point is; you don't have to feel guilty about this, okay?"

Gokudera could only bring himself to nod. Trust his kind-hearted boss to try and make him feel better when he was the one hurting.

He didn't know whether he should feel sad or glad that his words were cut. He still didn't know as to whether he would've been able to lie and said that his feelings for his Jyudaime were simply platonic when it was anything but.

xxx-xxx

_Even when my heart broke into thousand, little pieces. _

xxx-xxx

It was to be expected.

He didn't understand why he'd even dared to hope the outcome was going to be any different.

But the silent answer wasn't what hurt the most.

What made his heart hurt the most was the pain that appeared in those beautiful orbs.

xxx-xxx

_But sadness doesn't fly away on the wings of time. _

xxx-xxx

They couldn't go back to the way they were.

Gokudera didn't know what to do. Despite their mutual agreement to continue to act the same way as they did before, it wasn't working.

It was impossible for Tsuna to hide away his sadness and longing whenever they met. Gokudera was faced with his sin every time their eyes meet. His greatest sin; breaking the heart of his most treasured person.

_And a damn well good job I did too. He looked like he hasn't been sleeping well ever since it happened._

It was true. There were eye bags under those previously bright brown eyes that always looked dull nowadays.

It wasn't meant to be this way. His love, his Jyudaime isn't supposed to be hurting. His Jyudaime deserved all the happiness in the world.

The happiness from the love that he wasn't supposed to provide.

He tried everything. From nightly outings with other Vongola family members to inviting in their old friends. Dino just visited last week, but despite Tsuna's genuine happiness at seeing the familiar faces, that lingering sadness would never go away.

_See what you've done to him? See the pain you've caused him? You could've avoided this if only you were honest about your true feelings!_

Gokudera knew all of these. He wanted to go and beg for apology from his boss – _his love – _and tell him the truth. Tell his Jyudaime everything; his insecurities, his lies and his love.

But it wasn't meant to be. _They weren't meant to be._

Jyudaime was simply too precious for him.

* * *

><p>It was a month later when the answer to Gokudera's problem came. It came in a form of a smiling raven-haired girl; one of the most obvious and yet forgotten factor to Tsuna's happiness.<p>

Haru was a girl who was cheery and naturally gifted at making other people feels better. She was also a dear friend of Tsuna's. She had been there from early times of their adventures and she was one of the few people to love Tsuna unconditionally despite his flaws and weaknesses. If there was anyone who might be able to bring his Jyudaime out of the sadness that enveloped him, it was Haru.

Tsuna and Kyoko had agreed some years back that despite the fact that they held crushes towards each other when they were younger the phase of time had erased any romantic feelings that they had for the other. They became close friends and their feelings were clearly on display; it was a simple platonic, friendship.

But Haru; Haru was different. She'd been in love with Tsuna since the very start and her feelings stayed. It was clear as day that she was still harbouring those feelings of adoration for the Vongola boss from the soft smiles which she reserved for him only.

It was time for him to put his plan into motion.

To bring happiness into those beautiful chocolate orbs once again.

To repay for his sins and turn the tables on himself.

xxx-xxx

_Strength found in the midst of ruins. _

xxx-xxx

It was funny. He was able to _feel _again.

He had thought that it would be impossible for him to ever feel anything anymore with a heart that was as cracked as his.

He realised just how comforting _his _presence had been in his life all this time now that that special presence was hardly around him anymore.

He had taken him for granted.

He had thought that nothing could ever lift up his spirit ever again but he was proven wrong.

She had told him how his sadness was affecting _him. _

He didn't want his beautiful love to feel guilty; and he found the strength within himself to patch up the broken shell that was himself and turned back to the way he was before.

This way, _he _would feel happier.

That was all he ever needed.

xxx-xxx

_And happiness is obtained on the cost of another. _

xxx-xxx

It was working.

Against all odds, his plan was working.

Jyudaime was starting to smile just like before. He was starting to talk again and he was looking better; healthier already. A feeling of elation rushed through him at the improvement that can be seen in his boss. If his plan worked just as predicted, his boss would be able to get over the heart-break that he'd caused sooner rather than later.

If everything went according to his plan, Jyudaime wouldn't be the one nursing heartbreak. He would. The irony wasn't lost on him and he almost wanted to cry. But he didn't even have the right to cry, does he? Not after what he'd done to his most important person. Not after breaking the heart of the kindest person that had ever appeared in his life. The person that made him feel _worthy_; the person who'd accepted him despite all of his imperfections and shortcomings.

One afternoon, to his greatest happiness, he found his Jyudaime laughing in genuine delight at something that Haru had said. He was passing through the opened door to his boss' office and he could see Shouichi, Spanner and Kyoko along with Haru, who was sitting on the arm-rest of Tsuna's chair, talking animatedly with the Vongola boss.

That position told him more than any words could. She was sitting close to him and the whole setting looked _perfect. _It was in that moment that he realised just how painfully _right _he had been. He had chosen the perfect girl for Jyudaime. It wouldn't be long before his boss would accept Haru as his new love.

The next day after that would be his weekly meeting with the cheerful raven-haired young woman. She had grown into a beauty as time passed and despite her light and merry demeanour, he could see that she was perfect in her own ladylike manner. She would be the perfect wife for the Tenth Vongola boss.

Ever since he'd called for her help, she had found out the true cause for Tsuna's unhappiness. She had been adamant about not helping him at first. She had wanted him to tell his true feelings and bring happiness to both him and his boss, but his stubbornness won the battle at the end. She had relented but not before telling him that he would also be involved in the plans to make the object of their happiness back to the way he was. Thus, leading to the weekly meeting and occasional conversations about Tsuna's improving condition.

"Hello, Gokudera. You're early today, unlike usual," Haru commented when she stepped into his office. She was right; she was usually already seated on one of his office's guest seats by the time he returned from the weekly meeting.

"Mm-hm, the meeting was cancelled, so I didn't have to leave the room like usual," he replied absent-mindedly while sorting through documents after documents at the same time. A few minutes passed in comfortable silence before he finally finished off signing the document he was looking through.

Taking off his glasses, he came face to face with the face that he'd come to respect in some level.

"He seemed to be doing really well lately. Thank you for that," he started.

Haru nodded before replying with a smile, "I know. He seemed to be more talkative somewhat and he'd started to openly laugh nowadays."

Gokudera couldn't help but smile in relief at the remembrance of his boss' laugh that had started to return. He had missed the sound of that melodious laugh.

"You seemed to be a good influence on him, Haru. I wasn't wrong when I chose you."

Haru smiled," Of course! I'm the great Miura Haru with infectious laugh, who else would be better than me?" She boasted in a joking manner.

The pair laughed at the absurdity of the situation.

"You would never think that we could actually have a civil conversation with each other, much less a friendly one like this five years ago," Haru commented.

"That's true. We hated each other's guts before. Both of us wanted Jyudaime's attention, so we always ended up fighting for it," he replied.

They paused for awhile in reminiscence before finally continuing what had become their weekly conversation time. Gokudera felt somewhat grateful. Despite the heartache and losing the love of his life, he was able to gain a great friend amidst the chaos. As long as his Jyudaime was happy, he would be able to endure _anything. _

xxx-xxx

_No place for regrets in the face of a smile. _

xxx-xxx

Everything was as right as it could be. Everything was back to the way it was before. His Jyudaime was back to treating him as the trustworthy right-hand man that he was and no words about what had happened three months ago was ever uttered.

It was as if it had never happened.

Strangely, the thought that the whole thing was forgotten just like that brought a pain to his chest. Every night he told himself that he needed to stop thinking about it and _move on._ But one did not simply move on from falling in love with Sawada Tsunayoshi. Haru and he were the true testament of this. Once you fall to the kind acts and endearing smiles of the Tenth Vongola boss, your fate was as good as sealed forever.

"Jyudaime, these reports need to be signed by tomorrow. Enma-san felt it to be an urgent matter and he wanted you to look through them as soon as possible," Gokudera stated while carefully placing the small stack of papers on his boss' desk.

"Okay. Thank you, Gokudera."

Tsuna lifted his head to smile at his Storm guardian, only to fall short at the clear appearance of blacks under those green, green eyes.

"And Gokudera, you should go back and rest for the day. You look like you haven't been sleeping well," he told the other male softly.

Gokudera thanked his boss for his worry and simply nodded. Mustering a small smile, he excused himself from the room that brought the painful memory once again.

Being one who would always be unable to go against his boss' orders, he found himself standing in front of his room before his mind registered what had happened clearly.

He sighed in exhaustion before starting to slowly undress and slipped into his soft and worn tracksuit pants that he'd often worn for sleep. It wasn't long with fatigue caught up to him and he fell into a deep slumber.

* * *

><p>When he was awoken, it was to the knowledge of another presence in the room. He kept his eyes closed, not wanting to give away his current conscious state to the intruder. It was better for him to feign sleep for the surprise factor to come into play for his advantage should this be resorted into a fight. It took his sleep-muddled mind awhile to register the identity of the other presence.<p>

As soon as he realised just _who _it was that was sitting on the edge of his bed, his mind went into chaos.

_What is **he **doing here?_

_What should I do?_

_Should I continue feigning the sleep? Should I open my eyes now?_

He didn't understand why the other male was in his room. It didn't look like there was any emergency where his presence was required; judging from the lack of attempt of waking him up.

_So, why?_

"Ne, Gokudera, I'm sorry for sneaking into your room like this, but would you please hear me out?"

The sudden voice was almost enough to jolt him from his still position; only years of self-restraint kept him from twitching or moving a muscle at the other's soft voice. He shouldn't expect anything less from his boss; of course he'd known that he was awake. He'd probably realised it from the moment that his consciousness returned.

Knowing that he had to reply in one form or another, he allowed himself a small nod in a gesture of acquiescence to the other's request. He didn't know whether he'd imagined the sigh of relief that came from the body sitting on the bed behind his. He didn't realise that he was holding his breath until that soft voice started speaking once again.

"I was worried about you and I talked to Haru because I know how the two of you seemed to be close nowadays. Well, she…she told me the truth. About everything the two of you were up to."

Gokudera couldn't help himself from jolting up into a sitting position and turned to face the solemn feature of his boss. His breath caught when he saw the intense _something _that was present in those beautiful, chocolate –_ amber_ – orbs. His mouth moved only to open and close without a sound. What was he supposed to say to _that_?

Jyudaime knew the truth. Haru told him everything. Everything–

_Oh god, she didn't tell him about his real feelings, did she?_

"Why did you lie?"

His head snapped up to meet those burning gaze. He flinched at seeing the pain and hurt inside those eyes. Pain that was caused by him. Again. He is sure that he'd made a record of being the right-hand man who caused the most pain to their One.

His mind scrambled to find an appropriate answer to that question while his tired heart just wanted him to answer it honestly with no pretenses. He still couldn't decide after two minutes of silence had passed.

"Gokudera, answer me, please," those quiet, _vulnerable _tone made up his mind for him.

"I-"his voice broke. He cleared his throat and started once again, "Jyudaime, I was…afraid."

The tenth Vongola boss' face reacted to those words with a flinch.

"I – Is my feelings hurting you?"

"No! No, that's not it. That's not it at all, Jyudaime," Gokudera denied vehemently.

"I was actually afraid of what my feelings would mean for your future, Jyudaime. If – if I answered your feelings honestly, all of your hard work to gain the best possible reputation could be…changed. Not everyone would accept the fact that you would choose a male lover and – and I was afraid…_for _you."

His Jyudaime's eyes widened, his gaze softened and a murmur resounded from his lips unconsciously.

_"For me..."_

Those brown gaze seemed to come back from its far away thoughts and its sharpness once again pierced through the green, worried gaze in front of it.

"You were worried for me, my reputation, and _that's _why you didn't tell me your true feelings about my confession?" The soft tone that spoke those words managed to show the speaker's thought on the incredulous notion and yet scolding at the same time.

"I-I know it's not my place to do what I did, but I just wanted-"

A deep intake of breath.

"I just wanted to be the perfect right-hand man that deserves you, Jyudaime."

A quiet chuckle resounded around the room. Gokudera, surprised at the unexpected sound, lifted his bowed head and turned himself towards his boss' sitting figure.

A fond, relieved smile was present on those pink lips. The chocolate orbs that clashed with his were filled with those same feelings, shining along with an undeniable _happiness_.

_Did I make that expression on Jyudaime's face? Me, a simple Gokudera Hayato?_

It was a very surprising realisation for him to find out one truth that he'd never considered throughout all these years. He had certainly never fooled himself into thinking he was a perfect right-hand man; much less become a cause for his boss' happiness.

But if those chocolate orbs weren't lying to him, then he really was able to make his boss happy. His love made that expression on his most precious person's face. If that is so, then he would continue to show his complete love and devotion to his wonderful boss. If that was what it takes to ensure happiness to his Jyudaime, he would do it happily. Because it was everything he had ever wanted too.

"I think you're already more than what I deserve, Gokudera. You're everything I'd ever need and want. So, will you answer me honestly this time?"

Gokudera nodded.

"Ti amo, Hayato."

"_Ti amo anche io, Jyudaime." _**

xxx-xxx

_The start of forever. _

xxx-xxx

Sleepy emerald orbs opened to the stream of the sun that passed through the thick curtain; hitting his eyes. Moaning in protest at having his sleep disturbed, the silver-haired body shifted and turned the other way, away from the glare of the morning sun. His face found solace in the warm, golden skin of a now-familiar neck.

Warm arms surrounded him, and he could feel the heartbeat from the other body lying attached to his. Long limbs intertwined under the soft, silk cover and Gokudera took a deep breath of a much-loved scent of his most important person.

"Morning, love." A sleepy, soft voice greeted.

He lifted his head and found adoring, fond brown eyes gazing down at him as if he was the most precious thing in the world. Smiling in reply, he lifted his head and gently kissed those soft, smiling lips near his.

"Morning, Tsuna."

xxx-xxx

_**Precious**_

_Because_ _life_ _means_ _everything_ _with_ _you_ _within_ _it_.

**_Owari_**

* * *

><p>Okay, how was it? Please, please leave a review. I adore this story and I really want to know what my dear readers think of this. I hope it was good? :"D<p>

(Am currently rather pissed at html-ing. Can't put in the asterix and space that I wanted in-between each lines that has xxx-xxx. *pouts* It looked better when I typed it up on word.)

Also, I do apologise if the Italian within is not quite correct. I have almost no Italian background, so this was done through internet research. Tell me if you find it wrong? c:

-hime-

*: I love you.

**: I love you too, Jyudaime.


End file.
